Charles B. Willis Spoke Truth

Charles B. Willis died yesterday, and his friendship healed a hole in my heart.  He's the first man I heard talk about the trauma of sexual abuse.  He's also my first close friend who was African American.  Some people don't want to recognize themselves as a person of color, but Charles was more than this to me.  What I'm trying to say is growing up there was always a hole in my heart around hearing extended family members use racial slurs.  I think that for much of my family, this barrier of language will keep me from ever really feeling close to them.  I also remember the first roses I ever received were from an Afrcan American male.  My mom told me that my father shouldn't find out.  I can still remember a family dinner party, where my drunken uncle reflected on the violence of a different generation.  The real piece about my family tree that killed a piece of my soul in 2011 was learning that a favorite family elder had travelled to Africa to fight in wars and work in diamond mines - what that meant hit me like a stone in 2011 and sent me to the hospital.  Charles' friendship healed for me the trauma of racism I experienced growing up, really all my friends of color do.  I admire Charles' willingness to talk about trauma in sharing his story, so I know sharing my truth about the trauma of sexual abuse, the trauma of being a human trafficking survivor, and the trauma of racism will set me free.  Love you Charles, now and forever.