How education changed my world...

In the 6th grade I learned the abuse my maternal grandfather subjected me to had a name in class.  I was a quiet student that cried at night because I thought I wasn't pretty.  As boys became interested in me in high school, I lost interest in books.  It took me 3 years to figure out what I was doing in college.  I had outer body experiences of just being numb.  Cutting relieved my anxiety, but the act scared me.  I went to the counseling department and they got me into drawing my feelings.  After an abusive relationship ended and I was suicidal, I found a psychotherapist.  I learned to overcome my deep fears and sadness with the assistance of psychotherapy and medication.  Icing on the cake came when I moved away from my hometown to get a graduate degree.  The change of environment and friends gave me the greatest sense of security.  While my fears returned after getting my masters, my education was always there to open a new door with a new job invariably.  I learned to live with deep fears and a diagnosis of bipolar disorder that I always felt was really PTSD.  I was flooded by fears and memories of all I did to survive in my college years. The diagnosis felt like a sock in my mouth to cover up my experience as a crime victim.  I felt sub-human with this label and alienated from humanity, as my friends abandoned me one by one.  As I recovered I found peer support education.  Peer support was my key in returning to humanity.  I found support and friends, then ultimately a career I love.  The more I learn about trauma, the more in my skin I become.    My education in peer support and psychology were life changing.  

Freedom in Education

My mother told me I would come home in a body bag.  My uncle told me I wouldn't make it back.  I couldn't hear them, all I could hear was the promise I would become wealthly.  The first realization I was not with ordinary people came when I stepped on Chinese soil and they were relaying a story of eating the brain of a live monkey in a restaurant.  We were there to be Los Vegas style entertainers.  I had practiced with a choreographer for a month and just saw the New York chorus line in my head.  It wasn't easy being away from home, but I just knew I had become famous the way strangers were so eager to greet me with 'nihow' or hello as I would pass the shops and markets.  I was so very alone, even next to the 15 women that had traveled with me.  I realized it was all falling apart when I heard her voice.  I can't see her face in my head anymore, but I can hear her telling me the management had called a meeting and collected everyone's ticket home and passport.  I felt suffocated by everything around me and asked the casino operator that had spoke to me on occasion to buy me a ferry ticket.  No one saw me slip out of the hotel into a taxi.  I left behind two large suitcases of belongings.  It was all about survival.  I tried to fight back by talking to an attorney, but his response left me afraid and quiet.  I survived, but to this day the fate of the other women is a mystery to me.  I wasn't a hero.  I quietly struggled with my fears and sadness.  I managed to get my degree and find meaning in work.  I can't turn away and be quiet anymore.  Twenty years have past and all is beyond the reach of justice.  I will talk through my art and find a way to create educational opportunities for others in my shoes.  My education freed me.

I Can Stand (End Human Trafficking)

What she told me, her words, alerted me that the house was about to burn down around me.  I immediately took in all that was happening in that moment and knew I must escape.  I shut down into silence that has lasted for years.  I didn't know how to break the silence, even after I was free.  I will not claim to be a hero.  I only found my own freedom or the courage to write this after watching Malala, the girl that would not be silent- I realized I can speak.  I will be starting a mission that I am just beginning  to learn about.  I will be selling my art to raise funds for a scholarship opportunity for human trafficking survivors.  It was education that led to my ultimate escape.  A friend of mine recently witnessed human trafficking, keep this handy- national hotline (888.373.7888) for reporting human trafficking.   The signs to look for are on this website link-http://www.polarisproject.org/human-trafficking/recognizing-the-signs

27 million men, women, and childen are enslaved worldwide and only 40,000 enslaved people were identified in the past year according to a June 2013 report from the State Department.  This is a link to the comprehensive report- http://www.state.gov/documents/organization/210737.pdf

It is my belief that we all have a role to fill in breaking the silence and ending modern day slavery.