Welcoming Myself into Being

This blog entry is about healing from the ice of trauma, so you may want to read or not depending where you are on the spectrum of readiness and support from others on this journey.  I have begun reading a book by Levine on Trauma.  It talks about the freeze response involved in your body after trauma and ushering your body back into being.  The exercise in the book seemed to difficult for me.  So, I made up my own.  I often get frozen by my thoughts, feelings, sensations and just muddle through.  Today I did something different.  I welcomed my body, feelings, thoughts, sensations, and people around me at the gym into being in my mind.  This may not be the greatest place for such an exercise, because there are so many distractions.  Also if something painful enters your mind then you may not be in the right place to deal effectively with that at the gym.  My gym is really friendly and I wanted to challenge myself.  So I started a conversation with myself while on the elliptical machine.  Some sensation arose and I welcomed it by saying, "Welcome tension in my back, welcome chest, welcome hips, welcome heart rate rising, welcome feet, welcome man walking by."  I was working out next to my husband and I had this memory of meeting him and salsa dancing with him.  It was an amazing meditation on being in the moment that I hope I can continue.  I usually work out in a sweatsuit hoody to give me extra comfort, but I'm so in my body I feel I might be able to let it go next time.  This beautiful moment was interrupted by a minor family emergency.  I have hope of living this way and wanted to share. Being in the moment is powerful and life giving!