Addiction the Life Sucking Force that I Left Behind

I have often disclosed challenges related to alcohol, but never shared my story of addiction.  I was totally stuck.  I was around people that gave me a sense of belonging, but yet suck the life force out of you totally.  I hated my job and I drank at work to be able to stay there.  I only worked to stay in school.  My drinking spiraled out of control over time, when I met an occult priest.  My life of school was totally ditched, I sold my books and withdrew from all my classes to support my life with him, and the only thing that kept me alive was the vodka in the freezer.  At my lowest point I left the apartment where he kept me, I walked down the road in my pajamas drunk.  I was walking down a busy road with cars honking at me.  He pulled over to pick me up and take me back.  And in that same moment, I knew I had to go.  I hated my life with him, it totally sucked.  He left me bankrupt financially, emotionally, spiritually, and psychologically.  I wanted to die.  He left me, because one day I started screaming uncontrollably.  I was so miserable.  He placed his shoulder in my mouth to muffle the screams and in that moment he realized what he was doing was wrong and he left.  I quickly became suicidal again and this time I got angry about it.  I called a psychologist and engaged in a 14 year relationship.  There was no drug and alcohol treatment.  Just talking.  I walked in and out of my misery till I quit drinking, figured out how to excel in school, and then finally started an antidepressant and I moved to another city to get my master's degree.  Then I became happy.  I still made poor choices, but I was happy and progressively made better and better choices.  I decided all my brain cells are important and I quit drinking forever.  This action supported my wellness and continues to.  Sanctuary came as I was sober and made better choices about who to be around and whom to not be around.  The cognitive components of psychotherapy didn't hurt either.  Medication is a constant, but only because I encountered bipolar disorder after this sobriety, sanctuary, and wellness was engaged.  My education only allowed me to dream bigger than big.  Education was my ultimate freedom.