The world is spinning with trauma and pain. Once in a while, we need to stop and listen to the voice of the trauma survivor. Trauma takes many forms, it can be real life in the now violence and it can result from a history of violence that a culture remembers. We have places that give voice to Georgia's trauma, like the amazing history of Martin Luther King, Jr and other civil rights leaders. We do not have a place I can readily recognize the current in the now voice of troubled and traumatized citizens. The Dalai Lama was welcomed at the Centennial Olympic Park years ago to speak to the importance to compassion. That stage would be a wonderful spot to dialogue on modern issues and theater is a great way to get people's attention.
I will never forget the theater of the protest of Martha Burke at Augusta National Golf Tournament. There was a big pig that said, "While CEO's play, women pay." There were puppets representing characters of the day. As a participant, I thought it was a little over the top, but the truth is that it spoke to what many women were thinking. It was a grand way of communicating a group's truth about exclusion of women.
We are in desperate need of dialogue in America and perhaps theater could release the pain and create symbols of healing for people. We also need to practice the skills of compassion in relationships publicly. Like, what if we had a hug in or teddy bear exchange after a play on the trauma of the moment that people are feeling. There is much work to do to heal in America.
Peace and Love,
Carol
As I quit my job, I didn't really think I would be landing in a world of poverty. I haven't been poor since college, and even then I fluttered within because I found a job I hated that kept me alive. This time was different, because I landed my whole family in poverty. I believed I must follow a path back to Georgia and found unemployment without even unemployment benefits. I learned a lot. You have less energy, when you are poor for lunches and coffees with friends because there is no flow. When you have food stamps, people judge your comments as you walk through the checkout line. Some pharmacies, don't include the handy little cups for your medicine when your child has medicaid. When I dressed the part of poverty, I felt it deep inside. I had to believe in myself and not dress the part. I had to believe that the job was coming and do everything in my power to make that happen, despite the odds of a middle manager flood. I went to vocational rehabilitation to get counseling, because I didn't want to leave any stone unturned that could change the reality I was living. My family's poverty ends on Monday and I am overjoyed that I was able to keep hope alive. Everyone should have savings, understand a budget, understand how much you spend, and pursuit education with vigor. Most of all, we must keep hope alive for change.
A colleague of mine has recently passed that I would consider part of the anti-psychiatry movement. He spoke to the horrific abuse of the system, but never spoke about when it worked right. I guess it never worked for him and this saddens me. I read horrific stories in the paper and I know that things can go absolutely wrong.
At the same time, I have experienced success in my life with lots of wellness tools, which includes modern psychiatry. When I am unmedicated, I become angry and entrenched in my trauma and the narrative becomes larger than life. The stress is absolutely unlivable and I am sure I would have a serious physical illness. So, I am thankful for modern medicine that includes psychiatry. I am thankful for clinicians. I am especially thankful for trauma-informed clinicians and they are challenging to find.
So I guess if psychiatry isn't working for you, I would encourage you to do what is right for you. I used to believe that recovery for me would involve living without medication and I simply know that is wrong for me. I have a high quality of life, thanks to modern psychiatry and clinicians in addition to a host of other wellness tools, like peer support. I encourage you to keep hope alive and seek what works for you.
Its easy for clinicians to see through clinical lenses, if they have not been trained in trauma and even if they have. Treating trauma and validating appropriate social responses is a dance. If we only speak of our fears to our psychiatrist, we may find appropriate social fears being medicated away. We have instincts and its important to listen to them. Its also important not to be afraid all the time. There is a fine line between being a trauma survivor and acting appropriately based on knowledge learned and the real realities of mental health conditions. Recently I found myself reminding my psychiatrist that while I was afraid to turn corners of allies downtown alone that this was also an appropriate social response for a woman. She jogged what I said through her head and had to add that into the equation. We must dialogue about trauma with our doctors, so that we don't end up medicating away our appropriate social instincts.
It could have been any of us, because you don't have to be gay to be in a gay bar. I've been to gay bars with friends. I also feel this is an assault on young people, because they need open space to discover their identity. I can remember thinking I was gay in my 20's. This act is so cowardly and fear is at its heart. We destroy what we fear. My heart is with all my friends and mentors that are from the GLBTQ community. May love continue and be stronger than fear.
Being a trauma survivor in a family of trauma survivors is awkward, because no one else is talking about their trauma. I've been blessed by so many opportunities to have dialogues on trauma, but my family has not. The picture of a (deceased) pedophile still holds a place of honor in my family and that is just amiss for me. How can we celebrate together with these symbols? I guess the force of honoring the victims in our family is not given voice and upholding myths of honor is easier. I truly love my family and yet I feel they don't really know me or want to, at least this outspoken part of me. The dialogues of our families should change and honor victims of violence or at least value their stories with greater weight than keeping myths alive. As long as the myth lives, I will feel protective of my son around them. Lines are drawn in our family and in our culture about listening to trauma. Its easier to honor mythical figures that really don't exist than to feel the pain of the victim.
I read the schools in GA have segregation for children with disabilities. I have been asked to send my son to a "special" school by other parents to get the great reduced classroom style learning. Frankly, as a woman that's been segregated in hospitals, I cringe. I don't want to give my son less than the full experience of life and that includes diversity. It's like locking flowers outside the garden of life. I want to see and experience all of life, including people that may seem different. I would never choose to be in a segregated environment and I wouldn't choose one for my son.
