Cacophony of Messages

There are a cacophony of messages in our world, its like a bizarre symphony in my head.  I have been thinking a lot about how changing my environment has changed my experience of being suicidal.  On and off for the last year I have struggled with feelings of suicide.  It was like I was alone on an iceberg, occasionally coming to shore to see my son, husband, the joy of my project I was working on, or friends and then going out again to the bitter cold ice.  I didn't want to be in my skin.  I am so happy that I was able to change my environment before I felt worse.   I think its important to speak to this struggle as I continue to read stories where people have died by suicide.  People think there is no way out, but reach out because there is always another path, a new perspective, or a new friend waiting to hear you, really hear you.  I love life and I celebrate the journey through the struggle.  I face challenges everyday and am overjoyed when I can smile.  Sometimes our body simply betrays us with fatigue that is chemical and sometimes it is telling us a truth. I watched 'Starwars the Force Awakens' with my son and I realized that sometimes moving away from a sense is moving towards a deep truth.   Sometimes change is the only choice that will respect your body.  There is always another way.