13 Reasons I Won't Watch...

So I told her I wouldn't be watching 13 Reasons Why and she proceeded to tell me how she was forcing herself to watch it.  She then began to describe with little affect the way that she died in graphic detail to me.  In that moment, I thought do you know that I have lived with serious suicidal thoughts at one time in my life?  Do you know that I purposefully refraining from watching because of that.  I felt little tiny step closer to death just listening and it made me a little angry.

I don't watch violent programming on purpose, as a trauma survivor it is deeply upsetting.  As a woman, why are we so obsessed with broadcasting violence against women?  I can't watch.  I won't watch.

Why won't I watch?

1. I want to live.
2. I want to celebrate my life.
3. I want to survive.
4. I want to celebrate survival, each and every day.
5. Survival is cool.
6. Survival is glamorous.
7. I deserve love.
8. I am love.
9. I am loved and if love fails, there is millions of more people waiting for the chance to love.
10. I love my life, and I didn't always, but I have surrounded myself with the life I deserve.
11. I'm not going to let anyone stop me from living the life I deserve.
12.  I'm a seasoned survivor, it wasn't always that way, but the more I read, the more I learn, the better
       I live.
13. I don't need to watch drama to get through life, life has enough drama in itself.

Its okay to love life, seems strange that I would have to say it...and you don't have to watch!

And don't forget the Lifeline, if your putting all of life together and you just need help making sense of things: 800-273-TALK.  There is nothing wrong with talking to professionals, I have and found them to usually be helpful in gearing up for facing life.  And keep talking, because it is through connection and relationships that we heal.  Peer Support can also be a great place to start really talking, learning, and carving out the life you want.